don't relate me to the cartoon

so, i think im gunna try to give up on facebook cause i have all the updates come to my email, and there hasn’t been anything new happening, so i think ima try to give it up…..

so im really excited for today to end cause i just had a nice walk in the sun early in the morning to pick up my car at one of my parents friends house, and walking in the sun is a nice way to get serotonin into your body. so im feeling very hyper, and happy, and feels ready for my jap final!!!!! but im not so sure mentally if im ready. all i kno is that i feel hyper for today, and wants today to end, cause today is my last day of summer classes!!!! YAY!!!!! SOOO EXCITED FOR IT TO END!!!!! but first i have to go through my JAP Final and my last Philosophy test, wish me luck!!!!

Well it is only 2 classes, Japanese 1 and intro to philosophy, and i think im doing ok, i know how to study for the last philosophy test, but i have a Japanese final, grrrr…. thats the one im kinda worried about, i enjoy the class, its just kinda hard to study for, oh well, im pretty sure im gunna pass, though japanese is not going to be easy, i think i can do it!

so i cant get this out of my system! i bought a Nerf marauder long sword, sadly because i was feeling like a kid when i was accompanying Alec in buying his Nerf stuff, and he bought a long sword too. so when you hold the toy sword, u feel powerful!!! >:D but feeling it was not enough. so at around midnight i go outside and swing the sword trying to come up with a fighting form for a weapon that long,that and i swing away at my stress of the day, but i want it to look cool. so i was doing that tonight, and i saw a car coming up by my drive way, i though it was Geno coming back from his party, and i hid by my car ready to attack Geno, but it turned out to be my uncle, grrrrrrr. i was so embraced that i tried to make an excuse for being outside with a toy that he did not kno i bought. well now i feel like a stupid guy acting out of his age, but i love swinging away at my stress and coming up with a possible fighting style, but of course im no professional so it looks gay, grrr, oh well, i wish i could act like myself without being scared of being judged……

remember how i thought lady gaga’s alejandro was about micheal jackson, its really about a woman wanting to revive her dead beloved because she can not go on through this cruel world without her beloved, but u can kinda see how i though micheal jackson right?! oh well.

so i had a dream one night, that i was doing some kind of military work, idk what it could have been, but i know i was holding a gun and was wearing a uniform of some kind. so i was saving someone and the enemy was right behind us, and i was alone in protecting this person. i cant remember if it was a boy or a girl. but there was a metal bridge ahead of us. i took the person and we clung under the bridge hanging for our lives because the enemy was behind us, not because we were that high up from the ground. but the bridge floor was like a screen, so they could see through it. darn. so as we were hanging, one of the enemies spotted us and we dropped from the bridge and as soon as we hit the ground we started to run again. and to our surprise, the person i was trying to save was in the arms of the enemy. i turned around to try and save the person. but the next thing i knew i was shot in between my eyes or on the forehead, around that area. what it felt like was someone poking you in the forehead and having their finger puncture and go through your forehead, but there was no pain, just pressure. and my body fell down to the ground. but my immediate reaction was to get back up, and i did, but getting up felt kinda weird. to move i have to feel the will to move in your chest. its kinda like what you feel in your heart when u have a really strong crush on someone (the strong heart beat feeling) except u dont feel love, just the want to move. when i got up, i looked down and there was my body. i realized im dead and that what was getting up and moving around was my soul. as a free soul u feel all the burdens of the physical world are gone. i told my heart to fly, so i first felt the strong heart pulse in my chest, then i took flight. it was amazing. i played around in the sky flying in the fall weather. it was beautiful. then i decided to fly home and see what was happening since i have been away from home. but when i arrived at the front of my house i began to feel really depressed. i just realized that i died before anyone else in my house, including my grandma, lola, my nanay. i told my soul to fly through the windows of my house because i could not grab the nob of my door. my hand just goes right through the nob without me being able to grab or feel it. as i levitated into my house, i visited nanays room. she was asleep, she looked so peaceful. i whispered into her ear, i miss you and love you, and she answered me in her sleep, ” i will see you soon!” and i felt sooo sad in my heart that i would never see everyone again. after her words, i woke up from that dream. i assume that i would go to heaven after saying goodbye to nanay. otherwise i feel i would have been dragged to hell right after i got shot in the head. sure i was sad, but i guess that is how some soldiers feel, OR MAYBE….. THAT WAS A SOLDIERS LIFE BEING DREAMED IN MY HEAD =o, idk but imagine it was, oh well, anyway. i feel reassured that death does not seem that painful physically. well i hope others wont feel scared if they have the durability to read this, lol, if you have read this, i thank you for your time!!! and forgive me for any grammatical or spelling errors XP

i think the song is a bout her being a player and not remembering who she did it with, while the music video, she was trying to tell us, remember Micheal Jackson. cause she was a big fan of Micheal Jackson and Micheal like military uniforms, that is why the music video was kinda like a natzi set up…. maybe natzi to make it gaga, but idk, thats just my idea…..

its really hard to stay God faithful. you go to these trainings,retreats, and meetings, but you always seem to fall. well i guess we should be happy that we always try to go back, and keep going to these things, but we always end up falling. im just upset with myself for falling, oh well, it happens, now to try again.

raubelmatth3w:

lipataarthur:

normally i would notice that i am fat, and want to do something about it, and i would, but then my mom would bug me even more to loose weight, and just because she says it, my horrible instinct is to not do it, idk why that is, it just is, and i was looking in the mirror and i saw something kinda scary, ughhhhh!!! i need to loose weight, but its soooo hard to do it alone!

lets play basketball! alot of running, works alot with the body, arms, and legs! plus its fun!

ok, just push me to play and dont judge me, cause i think i would try to push it to the side, but really try to push me to play and tell me wen we can?!

normally i would notice that i am fat, and want to do something about it, and i would, but then my mom would bug me even more to loose weight, and just because she says it, my horrible instinct is to not do it, idk why that is, it just is, and i was looking in the mirror and i saw something kinda scary, ughhhhh!!! i need to loose weight, but its soooo hard to do it alone!

Yesterday my brother Alec seemed so upset, idk y? but he did, well 2day is a special day for him, hope he has a good day! Happy Birthday Alec!!!

For those who believe in God, do your best to stay strong and pure! and if you feel that you are in a pit of trouble or stress, take time to breath, imagine a place that calms yourself! then go straight through the problem knowing that you WILL overcome the problem with God by your side!

why does everyone take sex so lightly, i kinda bugs me out, hmmm….